Thursday, January 18, 2018

Rabbit hole. Mental illness. And as if I were a sparrow.

Just another labyrinthine thunderstorm journey down the mental illness rabbit hole. Scary being an adult sobbing uncontrollably. Dad dead eight years old. Edna many years later. Lovely I cannot talk about incidents in New York and Amsterdam. No amount of clonazepam can stop the avalanche. Scary realizing you're not who you used to be. Scary living in a foreign environment. Seemingly past repair and redemption. Detritus. Not the opposite. Chaos not order. Relentless sea of overwhelmedness and where do I go from here. Where do I start. Maybe the truth will set me free. I dunno. Maybe. Looking for hope. Joy. Purpose. Peace. A house that's not a monster but a home. Dear God. Please watch over me. As if I were a sparrow.
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